Understanding Emotions - Part 1

https://youtu.be/0j7dwG1cXc4

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hey this is Leo for actualised org and in this video I'm going to be talking about mastering your emotions part one this is a very important video that I've been meaning to shoot now for a while and I wanted to do it right so I decided to split it up into a couple of parts here and basically what we're gonna be talking about in this series is getting you a much deeper understanding of your emotions helping you to build an emotional vocabulary and getting you to understand how emotions function in your life the thing that really inspired me and kind of prompted me to want to shoot this video is because you know I work with clients in coaching sessions and one of the things I discover with clients is that when I try to get them to talk about their emotions they usually end up drawing a blank and what this shows me is that they have a very very very very limited emotional vocabulary and so I started thinking like oh man you know it's hard to even coach these people because they can't even assign just basic labels to the feelings that they have in their body in different situations in their lives and because of this they're basically unconscious to what's happening in their body and how these emotions are dominating and controlling their lives and so what I find is that in general most people are this way most people have poor emotional vocabulary they don't have a rich diversity of emotions that they're able to feel and they're able to identify they're not really able to talk about the emotions that they have which creates problems and in general most people are quite clueless about what emotions are and exactly how they function so I wanted to dive into that here basically what we're talking about here throughout this whole series videos is emotional intelligence e.q and I have another video that talks about emotional intelligence that introduces that topic more on point I'm not going to be too focused on emotional intelligence other than to show you that basically what emotional intelligence is is what we're going to be talking about here and this these videos here show you kind of how to develop emotional intelligence and basically they've done studies and they've they found that a lot of the greatest character traits that correlates with success and fulfillment in life is high EQ not IQ not logical rational intelligence but emotional intelligence now why is this and why is this whole topic important well basically unconsciously emotions run pretty much your entire life emotions unconsciously pretty much generate all of your results in life all the stuff that you think you do consciously and deliberately and rationally and logically well you're deluding yourself about much of that actually it's your emotions that are running those behaviors so the most important element of all this here is that emotions generate behaviors for most people and because of this this creates a lot of unrest or SFIL problematic behaviors and then you can get stuck in these behavior loops which don't get you the results that you want so one problem here is that many people are not able to identify emotions properly they just don't have the words and the labels to even talk about them that's the big problem another problem that people have is that we generally don't understand what the messages of our emotions are did you know that an emotion can be a message it can carry a concert's message with it so that you can take the message of the emotion and not need to react like an animal just against the fee the sensation so most people don't know which emotions have which messages that's going to be what part two is going to be about I'll tell you exactly which messages you need to know for some of the most common emotions that you'll encounter in life and another problem that I see is that people are not able to get coached or they're not able to get therapy because they're not able to express their emotions and delve into their emotions which is necessary for successful coaching and so when you combine all this stuff together basically what you get is terrible results in life and you also get much needless suffering so wouldn't it be nice if we can address some of this here so you can avoid all this needless suffering and before I go and start talking about what emotions are just one word of warning if you think that you're watching this video and you think well Leo I'm not a very emotional person I mean maybe some people are emotional or maybe you're talking about like what you're talking about here is going to be helpful for women because there are more emotional creatures but like I'm this strong stoic guy I don't need all this emotional talk I don't need to label my emotions and feel into my emotions this is a not the way that I live life well if you're telling yourself that you're not an emotional creature even if you're the most stoic macho guy in the world then actually what that means to me is that you're completely clueless about the role that emotions play in your life you're just unconscious to it you're so unconscious that you don't even realize that emotions are a critical pillar like the backbone of your entire life even if you're the most stoic macho guy so don't think that you're not an emotional creature we're all very very emotional creatures so if we say that women are more emotional than men yes that's true generally speaking as a stereotype but that doesn't mean that meant that men are not still highly emotional we're all very highly emotional and we're mostly like machines running on emotions that's mostly what a human being is is an emotional machine in action cycling through emotions over and over and over and over and over again so open your mind to this all right if you want to get to the highest levels of your potential in life and if you want to self actualize you're not going to be able to do it by ignoring emotions you're going to have to really study the hell out of them to master them so anyways that was just a warning so what are emotions emotions are kind of my definition are a matrix of feelings in your body a rich complex matrix of feelings so just one emotion let's say we take a common one like anger right what is anger anger is a label in our English language that we assign to what we assign it to a certain collection of sensations in our body and also in the mind and this is a lot more rich and complex then you would initially believe it to be sometimes we can look at anger and we can say oh anger yeah I know what anger is very obvious but actually hold on a second maybe it's not so obvious have you actually felt into anger to see what it's really about have you wondered why the anger is arising and what it's prompting you to do have you looked at the different shades and degrees of anger everything from full-out violent rage to your typical anger to something like a mild frustration or an annoyance right there's various degrees there and how each one of those it's not just different in degree but it's also different qualitatively it feels different it feels different in your body also not only do you have a feeling in your body and those feelings are very specific they can be located in specific parts of your body like your chest or your abdomen or your head or your throat or your arms or your hands so you can have different feelings all throughout your body but also you've got various internal mental chatter that's happening in your mind and there's also a tonality not only are there certain mental words that you're saying when you're angry but also there's a tonality there's a way in which you say them maybe it's an aggressive violent sort of tonality so there's that and you got to appreciate how this whole thing just kind of like creates this big ball of what we might call anger but underneath that label anger there's this very rich tapestry of stuff going on and on top of all that if that wasn't enough this emotion is not like a fixed state it's like an animated dynamic flowing situation imagine if someone took a syringe full of red paint and then inject it into your veins like into your heart stab you in the heart with it and then squeeze that red paint in there now if you die from that but assuming you didn't die and that red paint would now dispersed and be carried by all the veins into different parts of of your body and so you can imagine that the paint is moving through your body and it's affecting different parts of your body and it's touching different parts of your body and your mind at different times and then eventually you might imagine that it dissipates from your system kind of like a cloud passing through the air well that's kind of what an emotion is right it's like this animated thing it's not that you're just angry he said that anger starts to kind of develop and grow and then it balloons and then it has a peak and then it kind of has its climax and then it starts to dissipate and then slowly it gets out of your system and transforms and melts into some other emotion maybe now sadness and then that sadness takes over and then you have these waves of emotions so emotions are not static things that's basically what emotions are and the whole reasoning behind emotions is that emotions are like a language they're like a language of your body see if you're a rational logical person you tend to think that well life is very rational and logical and that stuff follows in a kind of linear conscious sequence but what you fail to appreciate perhaps is that actually before there was logic and before there was rationality in the evolution of the human being and in the evolution of mammals in general what you had is you had a need for controlling how the organism this machine functions and how do you do that well you do that with a more primitive communication system and also in a sense a much more complex and rich and lightning-fast communication system than logical linear thinking so if a tiger walks into the room it's not enough for you to see the tiger and to think about the tiger and say oh that's a tiger what if that tiger bites me what if the tiger jumps on me you know I've encountered Tigers before and I know that they're scary ferocious animals so probably it's better if I leave the room right that's not your reaction your reaction before you can even label the thing a tiger immediately your heart rate jumps up right Amil you've got this feeling of adrenaline pumping through your body immediately you're gripped by terror by fear like very visceral fear and immediately your body is tensed up your skin tightens different muscles in your body tighten immediately maybe you're already turning your head and your body towards the nearest door or window to jump about of the room so the emotions are doing most of that work all that stuff happens in just a few milliseconds and you don't even logically have any clue what's going on here your body is already in motion so this is happening thanks to your emotions right so emotions are very powerful and they're the primary source of motivation that you have running your life so you see now why this becomes so important is because your behaviors are very much influenced by emotions now it's interesting that your behaviors don't have to always correlate and be totally aligned with emotions you can actually go against your initial emotional impulses and that's where kind of you get into the battle between the logical brain and the emotional brain or maybe something is telling you that this thing is something you're supposed to be afraid of over here but your logical mind can override that and say well I guess I'm afraid but let me go pursue it anyways maybe this is actually going to be beneficial to me and it's there where you get into a lot of the emotional problems that people face in life and in a lot of the stuff that holds people back from achieving them the goals and dreams that they have in life is because you've got this tension going on will to start to get a handle on how all this works it's helpful to just get a layout of the landscape and to see what kind of emotions exist and is there like a rhyme and a reason to these emotions is there a structure to these emotions so one of things I want you to start to recognize is that there are hundreds of emotions right and emotion is this matrix of feelings and there's a lot of different variety and subtlety in these matrixes of feelings that you could have so what I want to do here in this video really is I want to give you a little overview of the landscape I want to give you a taste of the different emotions that are there and I also want to give you some categories that I found helpful for me in my life to get me an understanding and help increase my emotional intelligence so what I'm going to be sharing with you here in a minute is a model a structure for emotions that comes from the Sedona Method now the Sedona Method is a way of releasing emotions which I'm not going to cover here it's a really great method if you want to learn it but I'm just going to use their model to kind of give you some categories like a framework for understanding the different levels that emotions can have so what you're going to notice here is I'm going to be going through is you're gonna be noticing that there's going to be about eight or so categories and we're going to be talking about these categories in order of ascending so we're going to start at the most you might say negative most Unruh source phille emotional states that you can have as a human being and then we're going to move up the ladder to slightly more and more resourceful and quote-unquote positive emotions okay and I want you to also watch out for different degrees of emotions within the category now we're going to be doing a little sampling here like a little buffet right but this is just a very little sampling there's a lot more in fact each one of the categories I'm going to tell you probably has at least a hundred if not more different shades of emotion in it but we're just going to be covering maybe four or five per category so here's how this is going to work I'm going to give you the category and I don't want you to visualize the category but then what I want you to do is I want to kind of give you I want you to quickly visualize the emotion within the category and actually if you want to get the full value of this video what you're going to do is you're going to listen to the whole video then you're going to come back you're going to rewind to this point here and you're going to re-listen slowly to each emotion as I tell it to you and you're going to pause and I want you to close your eyes and I want you actually feel it remember it recall how it was in your life because you felt all these and then I want you to feel it in your body and I want you to remember what kind of sensations were going through your body where in your body was this emotion being felt how is this emotion different from a prior emotion and what is going on in your mind when you're in the middle of this emotion because the emotion is both the bodily feeling and also the monkey chatter in your mind that's going on at the same time and the monkey chatter changes from emotion to emotion so anyways here we go I'm going to go through this really fast now because I don't always the whole hour I'm giving you time to pause you're going to do that later on your own as an exercise if you want to okay so here we go the first category is called apathy and this is the least resourceful state because it's very hard to take any action from this state and here are the specific emotions that I want you to kind of quickly visualize one is depression feel yourself depressed the next one is defeated feel yourself defeated the next one is bored what's it like to feel bored and the next one is lazy think of a time when you were very lazy okay so we're going through really fast here so you're not really going to get a good taste of each one right now in your experience so I really encourage you to go through again a second time and really pause between them close your eyes and get a full sense it might take you 30 seconds before you get a full sense of something like depression or something like boredom or laziness alright but it's worth doing this because as you do this you're building your emotional vocabulary right that's why I'm doing this segment here is because I want you to get a taste for the fact that there are these specific emotions that you have that are very common but a lot of times you don't label them and you just kind of skip over them in your awareness so you kind of know what laziness feels like but also you have no idea what laziness feels like because probably for your entire life when you felt lazy you've just kind of jumped over the laziness you told yourself oh I'm lazy you told yourself oughta want to be lazy you labeled it a bad or a good emotion and then what you did is you didn't actually feel into it you didn't actually identify what is in your present awareness right this is called practicing mindfulness which is a really huge thing I'm going to talk about towards the end of the video so anyways let's go on to the next category next category is called grief which is one notch higher more resourceful here you've got emotions like being sad hurt betrayed disappointed and guilty so feel each one of those next we're going to go to the next category which is fear and here you have a lot of different types of fear think about terror nervousness worry insecurity fear is an interesting categories notice that you know we have the general label fear but then you have a lot of different specific types of fear which have various degrees of strength but also qualitative differences from each other so for example terror feels very different than insecurity in your body it also comes with a very different mental chatter in your mind so you want to become aware of what those are for each label okay let's go to the next category which is lust one step higher a little bit more resourceful than fear within the lust category we have things like craving possessiveness greed frustration you're going to want to feel all those and compare and contrast those different feelings the next category up from that is anger and here we have stuff like disgusted pissed-off vengeful and annoyed annoyed is an interesting one because it can be a very subtle form of anger that you don't even recognize as a form of anger interesting okay one level higher than that we have the category of pride here we have things like gloating feeling I see judgment or being judgmental of someone else and arrogance so go ahead and feel all those and compare those and the next category is called courage here we have things like confident creative happy and secure so feel all those notice that now we're getting to the higher levels of this hierarchy and that now at these levels were getting into actually what you might call positive emotions emotions that you want more of in your life also notice that the emotions that are more quote-unquote positive that these seem to be emotions that produce more resourceful behaviors and actions in you they're less toxic they're less damaging they lead to less negative fallout okay so let's move on to the next category which called acceptance here you have emotions like compassion glowing can you remember what it feels like to be glowing loving and playful okay good so feel all those be aware of all those different matrixes and lastly now we're going to be moving to the last category which is called peace this is a very interesting category which most people don't even think about when they think about emotions but actually this is perhaps the most powerful and important category of all this is the place that you ultimately want to get to with your self-actualization so here they are within peace you've got stuff like awareness feeling aware calm or tranquility feeling complete freedom feeling free and feeling centered very interesting category in this category of peace so there you have it you've got like eight or ten categories I don't how many that was and just a sampling remember this is a very small sampling like a tip of the iceberg I could have given you probably fifty and I'm not exaggerating fifty emotions within each category so there's a lot of them right and they all have their own subtle different tastes and flavors to them almost like food okay so now what I want to say about all this well I want to say that emotions are both conscious and unconscious you can be conscious and very aware of what's going on in your body and in your mind and you can label it an emotion like anger or fear or annoyance or or whatever but most of the time I would say 98% of the time you're actually not conscious of the emotions that are coursing through your body and this presents a problem so if you want to really improve the quality of your life than what you want to do is you want to become more and more conscious and aware of exactly what's going on in your body one of the problems that emotions create is that we label emotions as either good or bad and actually what I want to submit to you here is that emotions are neither good nor bad and then in fact when you label it emotion as good or bad this gets you into a lot of trouble down the road it might seem like something like anger or fear or jealousy or depression might be an inherently bad and negative emotion which creates inherent suffering but actually that's not the case that's an orientation that you've just accepted as an assumption without really questioning and looking into it when you really look at what an emotion is all it is a sensation in your body and a certain sensation in your mind that's all it really is and no sensation is inherently good or bad that's your mind coming in there and starting to label stuff starting to judge stuff right and so one of the things that usually happens the way that we're being run by our emotions unconsciously is that some emotion is coursing through our body we generally assume this emotion is created by some negative external circumstance and then we think that oh this emotion doesn't feel good anymore so it's a bad emotion how do I get rid of this emotion and then we just have a knee-jerk reaction and we go do something to get rid of this emotion and we don't actually feel the emotion we don't notice the the richness and complexity of sensation and feeling that exists there and so because of this we really are like a puppet that's being controlled by some puppeteer and we think that we're conscious throughout this whole process but actually we're not that's the whole crazy thing about unconsciousness is that unconsciousness doesn't feel like unconscious because whatever little sliver of consciousness you have is all you think that there is so if you're 1% conscious and 90% 99% unconscious you feel like you're 100% conscious which is what gets most people into trouble right because we already assume that we know this stuff and which is why I want you to go back and to actually take your time and feel each one of those emotions that I described earlier because what you'll realize by doing that exercise is oh I've never actually sat down and fully felt what anger feels like or what annoyance feels like I've never fully realized what jealousy actually is most of my life what I've done is I've just run away from these feelings or maybe I have run towards these feelings generally the way emotions function is that they're like carrots and sticks either they cause you to pursue something or they cause you to avoid something and this is like a very basic biological mechanism by which this organism in the machine called the body controls your behaviors so emotions you might imagine them they're kind of like magnets right it's like a magnet that is polarized and it pushes you away from something or it pulls you towards something else and you know a magnetic field it's not just like black and white it's got like it's almost like a cloud of magnetic field so if you're within you know the cloud you get pulled a little bit more a little bit more than you get closer to the magnet you get pulled even more so that's kind of how emotions work they're not these black and white things so it's not that when you're angry you necessarily have to go punch someone in the face but you're certainly much more likely to and so you kind of gravitate towards that and when you're depressed it's not necessarily the case you're going to shoot yourself in the head and commit suicide but you're certainly much more likely to you're kind of pulled in that direction right and the same thing with the positive emotions so it's very interesting how just how complex the human mind and organism is and how these emotions are like these magnetic poles kind of like guide you imagine like you're a fish swimming through a river and you're like this fish that's matted metal and in this river you've got this torrent coming down at you but you're going forward and then you've got these um these different magnets positioned in the river and you're kind of moving towards one or moving away from another and you're just kind of like snaking your way through the river well that's basically a pretty accurate description of what your your life is as a human being an important thing to remember understand about emotions is that really they're the language of the unconscious and the subconscious mind because there's a lot of stuff that's happening in your body at every millisecond of the day that you don't need to be aware of and in fact if you were consciously aware of all this stuff it would probably fry your brain there's a lot of stuff going on breathing heart beating temperature control of your body of your blood you know your immune system is fighting off pathogens and your cells are growing and rebuilding and there's a lot of stuff happening there's a lot of stuff that's being processing in your brain unconsciously right you're recognizing shapes and faces and people you're remembering names and you don't have any idea how this stuff is happening well it's happening unconsciously for you right and your emotions are like a language that kind of bridges the barrier between total unconsciousness and then consciousness so it's kind of like the bridge and so it's really helpful to learn how to interpret and become more aware of your emotions because your body's language primarily is not logic it's not rationality it's not linear thinking it is emotions it's these vague fields of emotions and moods so you can start to see why it's so important to start to understand the language of emotions it really is like learning language one question that comes up when we start becoming more aware emotions is we start to ask questions like well these negative emotions that we have are these emotions necessary so if I'm feeling angry or Rast does that mean that I can get rid of those because I mean they're creating certain behaviors aren't these healthy emotions aren't these emotions necessary for my survival and see the interesting thing is that your emotions are like a very baseline operating system which keeps you alive and surviving and the negative emotions are very powerful and they're very strong and they're extremely well tuned to keeping you alive so if all you want from your life is to be alive then you can rely and trust your emotions completely because they'll do an extremely good job at keeping you alive very very good they'll also do an extremely good job at making you reproduce so notice that these are the two functions that evolution operates on right natural selection survival and reproduction so in these domains you're going to do great with emotions you don't even need to learn about emotions you'll still do great most animals do great this way and most you know primitive cultures and societies that don't label emotions or whatever or don't even have us the study of psychology they do find just fine they survive great but if you want to take yourself to the highest potential as a human being if you want to self-actualize if you want to thrive if you want to accomplish great things that most human beings are not able to accomplish and if what you want is fulfillment and deep lasting happiness in your life then you have to start to unwire some of the more severe negative emotional reactions that you have why is that well because that whole system is tuned just to your survival it doesn't really care about your happiness or fulfillment so for example what it'll do is it'll make you worry and it'll make you nervous about the most insignificant thing just because that thing might potentially be a survival threat now your conscious mind knows better it knows that that little thing is not really a survival threat but see you're kind of emotional mind doesn't really understand that and so what its sides on you know it airs on the side of saying you know what we're just going to interpret that thing as a threat anyways and we're going to have you react violently against it we're going to have you worried and we're going to have you get depressed and sad and angry about that thing but see you can't really like build a happy positive resourceful life from that kind of situation so what you want to do ultimately you want to unwire that stuff and build in conscious healthy reactions also you want to transition yourself away from the lower-level categories of emotions we talked about stuff like depression anger and fear and into stuff that's much more a higher consciousness like peace and acceptance and creativity and confidence and security in this kind of stuff so that's that's the explanation of that also I think it's very important that you start to realize that the thing you really want the most in your life is the emotions of peace acceptance and wholeness this might sound kind of airy-fairy and new age and kind of fruity but I guarantee that this is what you really want in life you don't want a bigger house you don't want a sexier wife you don't want more money in your bank account you don't really want that new promotion what you really want is you want peace acceptance and wholeness because if you had these emotions running through your body all the time you would be on cloud nine you would be in heaven that's what heaven is it's interesting though how society doesn't really tell you this it's also interesting how it's very counter intuitive you don't really actively tell yourself that what you really want in life is you want these emotions here instead you turn it into material objects or you turn it into you know promotions or you turn into a better looking body or whatever but you don't really want those things you want those things so that they get you peace acceptance and wholeness so wouldn't it be nice to recognize that it wouldn't it be nice to chart a more direct course in your life for getting these things rather than the roundabout way that you'd go about now because you waste a lot of time and energy and money and resources going on a tangent rather than directly to your emotional objectives and your objectives are emotional notice that - so when you tell yourself that you're not a very emotional person well actually you are because all your goals in life ultimately are just pointing to these motions here what you want what we're talking about here is your entire motivational system in life right this is huge this is so huge I hope you can start to appreciate this another question that comes up when we start investigating emotions is can emotions be controlled and if so how do I control them because it sure does sound important that if there's a way to control them then we want to develop this way well emotions are a tricky thing and you really can't control them directly and in fact what is going on is that emotions are controlling you so see your conscious mind it's not the primary thing it's the thing that depends on everything else so your conscious mind depends on a stable emotional system so you don't have a conscious mind without emotions emotions come first they're the base they're the foundation so um in a sense the foundation controls what's above it it's kind of backwards to have the thing on top control the thing on bottom you might say it's unnatural but nevertheless you can develop something like a pseudo control over your emotions this is by not trying to control them directly and here we get into the distinction between controlling your emotions and mindfulness mindfulness is the key to emotional control I have a video on mindfulness you might want to watch that goes in-depth about how that works but here what I'm going to tell you is that basically the power of mindfulness is simply that you just watch the emotion and you don't try to control it at all and very counter intuitively and paradoxically what happens is that the better you become at seeing exactly what your emotions are the more aware the more conscious you become then the less your emotions dominate your awareness unless they control you and you can get to such high levels of mindfulness that basically you're able to exert almost a supernatural control over your emotions but in fact all you're doing is you're just looking at them it's a very interesting encounter intuitive technique - is a whole field of study you could spend the next 20 or 30 or 40 years of your life practicing developing mindfulness but I'm just going to give you a couple of quick ideas and a couple of tips here so number one for starting to develop mindfulness which by the way if you haven't realized yet is what we're doing in this video right by getting you more awareness this already is building mindfulness but you also want to be practicing it in the moment so the first thing you should do is you should stop judging your emotions and you should stop labeling them as good or bad this is actually false emotions are not good or bad so mindfulness is about seeing emotions as they are and no emotion is good and bad in itself and the other component of mindfulness is to feel your emotions physically through the body really take the time maybe even close your eyes stop yourself feel through it this is very a North DOX we almost never do this because we usually are just reacting to the emotion and if it's a bad emotion we just want it to go away it never occurs to us that we can just stop and look at it and that looking at it is the best way of managing it in fact this stopping and looking is so unorthodox for you it's going to be so unconventional that it's going to take you a lot a lot a lot of practice years of practice to retrain your brain from just reaction to emotions and being able to just stop look at it feel it notice what's going on in your mind and in your body and don't try to control it because what your minds going to be telling you is that wait a minute let me try to control this if it's a bad emotion I should control it and stop it right that's the right thing to do or I should guilt myself about it and tell myself that all it's a bad emotion why am I having this bad emotion I shouldn't be having a bad emotion right now but see what this does is this is just a reaction to the emotion which just creates more emotions and it just feeds into it increase this cyclone of of emotions and so there's no consciousness there no consciousness at all even though it might feel like you're trying to control stuff you're really not so in practice what's going to happens you can forget you're going to forget to practice mindfulness you're going to forget to stop and experience the emotion without controlling it and you're going to do this again and again and again and again and again and again for a long long time before you finally learn that you actually need to stop don't label it good or bad and just feel it but you know what go ahead and start practicing practice makes perfect so I recommend you start practicing now because it'll take you a while to get hang of it and in fact what I want to wrap up on here is I'm going to give you an exercise I'm going to give you really handy exercise for how to practice mindfulness the biggest problem with mindfulness the reason people don't develop it is simply because they forget to practice it because it's so easy to forget so here's the exercise for you what I want you to do is watch get your smartphone on the phone I want you to create an alarm this alarm will be a whole series of alarms for an entire week so what's going to happen here is that you're going to create an alarm that rings three hours after you normally wake up and then three hours after that and then three hours after that and three hours after that and three hours after that so it's going to ring five maybe six or seven times depending how long you stay awake it's going to ring let's say five times at least throughout your day it's going to ring wince alarm rings what I want you to do is I want you to stop whatever you're doing I want you to get a special journal you're going to keep a little journal just for this exercise and you're going to write down exactly what your emotion is in the moment whatever it is if you're pissed off and it's a very strong emotion good feel that notice what's going on your body notice what's going on in your mind first just take 30 seconds to notice it then actually write down what you discovered if you don't have a strong emotion which will probably be the case most times then write down whatever emotion you do have you always have some sort of emotion coursing through your body even if it's just a very very subtle emotion and maybe all you're feeling right now is just you feel uncomfortable or maybe you're feeling a little uneasy or maybe you're feeling a little bit annoyed just a little bit whatever it is feel it notice it and then write it down and you're going to do this for a whole week so it's going to be seven straight days of this alarm going off and that's it at the end of this week which are going to notice if you do this exercise as I told you and you don't slack off on it you'll notice that you've developed a lot of emotional awareness which wasn't there before and what I encourage you to do from that point on is just to continue with the process even if you don't use an alarm anymore I want you to continue with the process of feeling into the emotion getting curious about what the emotion actually is not trying to control anything and I be writing stuff that stuff down in a journal or a diary so that you're um you're forcing yourself to use language to clarify add precision to your awareness what this does is this builds awareness and when you develop more awareness you develop higher EQ and when you develop higher EQ you start to master your emotions and when you start to master your emotions you start to master your whole life how's that how's that coming full circle all right so what are we doing here with actual eyes that work we're helping you to master your life how do we do that by mastering your psychology and how do we do that well a big chunk of it is mastering your emotions so go ahead and take this exercise very seriously do it religiously and you'll see some cool results all right this is Leo I'm signing off post me your comments down below click the like button please share this video with a friend and finally come sign up to the actualize org newsletter right here it's a free newsletter when you sign up you get weekly free videos that I'm releasing all the time and my whole mission in life is to research and find the most powerful concepts and mindsets and principles that I can discover and that other people have discovered that are much more studied and smarter than I am I want to bring those to you and show you how to apply them practically in your life no nonsense no [ __ ] so that you can start creating all the things that you're struggling to create and all that will then lead to creating that extraordinary life which you know you want but you also know that you struggle so hard to get so if you're down with that follow every single week you don't want to just watch one video you want to keep up with it turn it into a practice turn into like a little mini hobby I want to turn you like into a self-help junkie here because I know that if you develop a hobby out of this just in a couple of years your whole life is going to start to transform in unimaginable ways which will be one of those rewarding things that you've ever experienced in life so I want to share that with you I wanna see you experience that for yourself sign up right now you